Puppies in Distress!

I don't think the West African spam scammers think much of me.

I heard recently that the now well-known ring of e-mailing hucksters in Greater Nigeria have recently begun appealing to gullible Americans' weakness for cute puppies. Apparently, most of us have stopped falling for the song-and-dance about how a fellow Christian in a foreign nation has a husband who is terminally ill and must (for some reason) give away a large sum of money to an American before the tyrannical guerrilla extremist secret police find it.

When that stopped working, they all sat around brainstorming, when a light bulb appeared over one of their heads, and he shouted, "Puppies!"

But no one has offered me the opportunity to help a puppy. No one has sent me any cute pictures of a 3-month old Schnauzer who could be transported safely out of Freakistan for only $50 shipping (and of course there's always handling, shots, taxes, customs, tariffs, chew toys... you know, the basics.) Maybe I'd like to help... but these scammers don't think much of me.

They said, "OK, we're switching to puppies. But you over there... why don't you stick with the rich Eastern European widow stranded in Senegal bit. I think there's still a few of them out there falling for that."

So I get these fancy-worded e-mails from people who don't even disguise their connection to West African countries, as if I were an oblivious fool. Their e-mails start out "Dearest in the Lord" and try to play on my religiously sentimental nature. (By the way, their abuse of Christian fellowship does make me angry, but I try to save my anger for something worth the effort.)

One time I got an e-mail from a young minister who had stumbled across The Core website. His first name was a little foreign-sounding, and his language was a tad bit flowery. I almost marked the e-mail as spam. Good thing I didn't... I had lunch with him, and he's a great guy. He may even become an important part of The Core team.

So in conclusion... if you know of a puppy in distress, don't hesitate to contact me. But if you happen to live in the Ivory Coast, just lie. Say you're from Freakistan.