League Leader in Total Conversions
About three years ago I was pondering the idea of becoming an ordained pastor within a certain denomination. So they had me fill out this application, of sorts. Everything was going along fairly well until I hit the question that asked, "Over the past two years, how many people have you led to faith in Jesus Christ?"
Here's what I did:
I got mad, and threw it away. Not because my answer would have been zero, but because I am appalled by the mindset that would produce a question like that. So I forgot about the whole ordination thing for awhile.
Here's what I should have done (or rather, should have thought):
"Hm... how many people have I led to faith in Jesus Christ? Gosh, that's a little oversimplified. I mean, isn't it the Holy Spirit that leads people to Jesus? So I guess the real answer is:
0.
But the fact is, I did personally share the gospel and pray with 2 people for salvation, so I suppose my answer could be:
2.
But what about those people with whom I shared the gospel, who I found out later prayed for salvation with someone else? That counts, right? So now we're up to:
7.
Hm. It only asks about conversions, and doesn't have a blank for "assists". So I guess I should just include them in my answer. There's that one guy who had questions I couldn't answer, so I set him up to meet with my pastor, who led him in "the prayer".
8.
And those people I brought to church who went down for the altar call...
20.
And the two girls who were sitting around with a group of us Christians, who actually prayed with one of the ladies, but I answered several of their questions pretty well, I think.
22.
If we're talking about conversions and assists, maybe we can also count them like quarterback sacks, or innings pitched... in fractions. There was this guy that a friend and I led to the Lord simultaneously. And another one that was a three-man effort. So that's 1/2 plus 1/3... so now we're up to:
22 5/6.
That's pretty close to 23. Let's round up.
23.
As long as we're on the sports motif... you gotta give the coaches a little credit, right? Because I did teach that evangelism class for the youth group. Out of the 8 kids I taught, 3 of them were downright naturals. I heard they each earned an average of 5 conversions over the last twoseasons years. So that's...
38.
Oh man... I almost forgot about that time I was an altar worker at a Billy Graham crusade.
249.
And I suppose there are plenty of times that someone observed me saying or doing something, that made it easy for the next guy to come along and lead them to faith. Those would be impossible to count... so I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt:
1,328.
OK... 1,328 it is. Hey, I'm a shoo-in for ordination!"
If you know me at all, I don't have to tell you that there's some fiction in there. But I think my point stands regardless... that God is definitely thankful that I'm on his team :-)~
"Hm... how many people have I led to faith in Jesus Christ? Gosh, that's a little oversimplified. I mean, isn't it the Holy Spirit that leads people to Jesus? So I guess the real answer is:
0.
But the fact is, I did personally share the gospel and pray with 2 people for salvation, so I suppose my answer could be:
2.
But what about those people with whom I shared the gospel, who I found out later prayed for salvation with someone else? That counts, right? So now we're up to:
7.
Hm. It only asks about conversions, and doesn't have a blank for "assists". So I guess I should just include them in my answer. There's that one guy who had questions I couldn't answer, so I set him up to meet with my pastor, who led him in "the prayer".
8.
And those people I brought to church who went down for the altar call...
20.
And the two girls who were sitting around with a group of us Christians, who actually prayed with one of the ladies, but I answered several of their questions pretty well, I think.
22.
If we're talking about conversions and assists, maybe we can also count them like quarterback sacks, or innings pitched... in fractions. There was this guy that a friend and I led to the Lord simultaneously. And another one that was a three-man effort. So that's 1/2 plus 1/3... so now we're up to:
22 5/6.
That's pretty close to 23. Let's round up.
23.
As long as we're on the sports motif... you gotta give the coaches a little credit, right? Because I did teach that evangelism class for the youth group. Out of the 8 kids I taught, 3 of them were downright naturals. I heard they each earned an average of 5 conversions over the last two
38.
Oh man... I almost forgot about that time I was an altar worker at a Billy Graham crusade.
249.
And I suppose there are plenty of times that someone observed me saying or doing something, that made it easy for the next guy to come along and lead them to faith. Those would be impossible to count... so I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt:
1,328.
OK... 1,328 it is. Hey, I'm a shoo-in for ordination!"
If you know me at all, I don't have to tell you that there's some fiction in there. But I think my point stands regardless... that God is definitely thankful that I'm on his team :-)~
Posted at 12:42 PM
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5 Comments:
Brilliant! Your stats are impressive.
Rack 'em up!
I know sarcasm is always tricky on the internet, but... you do know that this post was tongue-in-cheek, right?
Of course, I meant it in all sincerity, with a touch of sarcasm. Your post was amusing and you are on my faves list. Keep up the good work!
So, I'm curious: After throwing down the form, did you seek ordination through another denomination, or did you ordain yourself? :-)
Actually neither. In the state of Missouri, where I live, all that's required for one's ordination is to be formally appointed as the ordained pastor of any church registered within the state, and in good standing. Since that is true of The Core (a non-denominational church,) they simply voted me in as their pastor, and thus I am officially ordained.
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