Omniscient
You say you're omniscient.
You say there's nothing that escapes your notice... nothing you cannot understand.
At one point maybe you decided there were a few things outside your experience, so you came down and did that, too. Now we're supposed to find complete comfort in the totality of your purview... that no matter what we find to complain about, you've got it whipped.
You say you've suffered far beyond the trials of any mortal human. I'll grant you that. Your capabilities are infinitely higher than mine... your pain is infinitely more painful, and your joy infinitely more joyful. How can I argue? Why should I compare myself to you at all?
Because you started it.
You made me in your image. You said that you could relate to all my temptations, because you've been there. You, sir, have invited the comparison, and now I feel like it's falling apart.
Because you don't know what it's like to screw up.
Sure, maybe you do, in some impossible realm that will forever escape the grasp of my consciousness... some alternate universe where something is beyond you. But how can that be anything but nonsense to me?
You say you are the "Friend of Sinners", but I imagine a homeless man being befriended by the president of a seminary, or a leper by Mother Teresa. I'm thankful for the kindness, but sometimes the gift feels like cold comfort. Yay... I have a pity friend.
Because ultimately, I am pitiful. Even in your most pitiful moment you were heroic, earth-shattering, compassionate, praiseworthy. Your most pitiful moment was, indeed, your most beautiful moment.
But when I am a loser... I am just a loser. When I make a fool of myself, I am just a fool.
So what do I want? To pull God down to me? To shrink his head? To yank my rescuer out of the boat so I can drown in good company?
If I wasn't pitiful when I started writing this, surely I am now.
Labels: autobiography, spirituality
Posted at 8:26 AM
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7 Comments:
Hummmm. Your thoughts are more than vaguely familiar. Good questions. They must be asked.
What does it mean to be created in the "image" of the Creator? Likeness? Representation? Similar in Nature? Must have been before the fall of man when we dirtied ourselves with the filth of self-guidance, the lie of the self-made-man, the deceit of our own godlikeness.
Desire. Maybe that is all we have. Desire to be our own self, or to surrender to Him; to be His; to be made by Him to be like Himself, the product of the good work He promises to do in us, if we desire to be like Him enough to decide to let go of us.
It could almost be simple. But we are impatient, we 21st century little gods. Self-directed, self-controlled, independent, self-sufficient, with a need for success - now! Why wait for God to do what we can do ourselves? So we move along the path to success at break-neck speed. We couldn't hear a still small voice if we wanted to for the roar of the wind in our ears.
We run, push, drive, thrash wildly at the wind, as we fight the good(?) fight...until. We crash. We fall in the refuse of our efforts. We are pitiful, face-first in our own filth, a helpless soul who cannot clean ourselves.
But we are created in His image, in His likeness He created us. Destined for a throne in His eternal plan. We need Him. When we realize how much we need Him, we stop running and reach to take the hand that was always reaching out to us.
Redemption! Cleansing. Wholeness. His restoration to our lost estate is sweet, more precious than anyone or anything. His love finds us.
We are pitiful in our self-efforts, but more than a conqueror with His hand upon us. With Patience we begin to allow His righteousness to be our sufficiency. His promise - He will be faithful to us to bring forth that made-in-His-image creation we long to be, in His time.
Our God does not have a clock, or confine His great works to our calendar. It is His good pleasure to do a perfect work in us. It is our privilege to allow Him the time and manner to do it as He wills, for we are now surrendered. The surrender of one who has fought and lost the battle of independence, and now rests secure in our chosen servitude, assured our Master will fulfill His promise of Sonship; we will rule and reign with Him in His eternal kingdom.
For now, in this present moment, it is no longer our responsibility to fight and struggle, but to rest in the joy of knowing He says we are accepted in His love. What more could we desire.
Hm... a comment more poetic, insightful and hopeful than its corresponding post. I like it.
Angela, over the past several months you've been one of my greatest encouragers... and challengers. Thank you.
Speaking of encouragement, bro... doesn't just it encourage your socks off when you see that Christ works through your frail laments to kindle the fire of faith in someone else... and so eloquently?
Your post, as well as Angela's comment bring one, monumental concept to bear, albeit from different angles: humility. Humility is what happens (and can only happen) when we accept the fact that the only worth we have is that which God has assigned to us, that, as Paul says in Acts 17:28, "in him we live and move and have our being." Pride is what happens when we refuse to accept this.
But your post reveals something of immense irony: the greatest freedom in Christ hangs in the balance of our point of greatest risk. When we are hanging by our last thread of self over a mile deep canyon of God's grace, it's the most terrifying feeling imaginable. We are about to lose ourselves, the thing we know most intimately and, if we're honest with ourselves, treasure most deeply. Our ego is the machine we operate, day-in and day-out; indeed, it is quite elementally the world in which we live.
My prayer for each of us is in accord with Paul in Philippians 3:7-9:
"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith." (emphases mine)
Amen, and thanks for sharing your heart, even the vulnerable parts.
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Ariel,
I know of a book that would really bless you. It's called Documents of the Christian Church, by Henry Bettenson and Chris Maunder. It is a collection of important Christian writings from the 1st c. onward, including both personal correspondence and official church statements regarding particular theological views throughout the Church's rich history.
In an age of increasing fragmentation and diversification of the Church, a deluge of age old heresies have resurfaced in churches all across the world, not least the United States and Europe. From an historic perspective, the letters and books that make up the New Testament of the Christian Bible were (a) originally written, (b) circulated widely among all the local churches, (c) copied and compiled into a codex called The New Testament, and (d) recognized by the Church as authoritative for a variety of reasons, one of the foremost of which was to decisively refute heresies that were infecting the churches via false teachers. A written "Rule of Faith", as it was sometimes called, was absolutely necessary for the preservation of genuine Christian belief and practice.
Because the nature of the Church--namely, that Christ became the high priest for all believers, granting each of them direct access to God--was so dramatically different than the nature of the priestly system and Temple Judaism, some "norming norm" had to be established. No longer was authority vested in individual priests, prophets or hierarchies which possessed an elite oral tradition (contrary to a later distortion of Christianity called Catholicism), but now it was vested in an infallible, static form: the Word of God written, once for all.
With that established, on what basis do you, as a professing Christian, have for your belief that Jesus the Messiah was ever sinful? Is it 2 Corinthians 5:21? How about Hebrews 4:15 or 7:26? Or perhaps 1 Peter 2:22 or 1 John 3:5? I'm eager to know. According to 2,000+ years of Church history, those who have not believed and professed that Christ was the sinless Lamb slain for the sins of repentant sinners have not been deemed truly Christian. What does that mean to you?
God's arms are open wide for all those who will trust in the spotless Lamb He sent for their redemption. The biggest barrier between us and Him is our pride--thinking that we are all-wise and capable of determining our own way of reaching the Divine. It's an impenetrable barrier, unless we ourselves knock it down and allow His truth to take root in our hearts. Will you let it take root? He is waiting for you... waiting to fill you with the radiance of His presence, the abundance of His joy, the eternality of His gracious favor.
"You part the heavens, touch the earth.
You open eyes to see your worth.
And the walls are coming down.
Yes the walls are coming down.
Every plan of yours prevails.
Lord, your purpose never fails.
And the walls are coming down.
Yes the walls are coming down.
And the walls are falling now...
With a hand of strength
And a heart of grace,
You are merciful and mighty to save.
So pour your power out,
Let a rising shout
Echo through the earth as your kingdom comes
Let your kingdom come."
Charlie Hall, "The Rising Shout"
ariel-
if jesus sinned, woulndt he need somebody to save him too? who is jesus's savior?
Ariel's above comment was removed at her own request.
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