Captain Hook: the Only True Biblical LIteralist

Do you read the Bible 100% literally?

“If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” (Jesus, Matthew 5:29, 30)

Don’t call yourself a biblical literalist unless you look like this guy. —–>

Don’t get me wrong. I believe the Bible is 100% true. But if it were 100% literal, then we would worship a Messiah who is a loaf of bread. And a vine. And a door. And a light bulb.

If you’d like to know my real take on the Matthew 5 passage, check out a post I wrote on February 6, 2009 called West Bank Choppers & Gougers.

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