Recently the Front Porch team has been joined by a young lady named Stephanie. She is very active in her efforts to reach out with compassion to needy young people in center-city Springfield. And that was the topic of an e-mail she sent to me and others this morning, which she gave me permission to publish here:
I wanted to shoot this e-mail out as soon as I got the opportunity to. So, I would firstly like to say a big thank you for everyone’s emotional support yesterday at church. I wanted to clarify that it was not necessarily a bad cry, or an upset thing I was feeling. It was more of an “It’s gonna be ok” thing.
Ryan, your message yesterday absolutely hit the point that I had been wrestling with in my mind. Though I don’t feel a call for foreign missions, I have for a long time known that I am called to work with people of the streets. It’s been something I have run from, and often times felt I was alone in my battle for this group of people. And selfishly, I have been acting as such.
Yesterday, It really hit me at home that I am not waging this war on my own. That I belong to an army of people that are raging for the same thing I am. Since I have conditioned myself to believe that I was in this alone, that I could never allow myself to break down and take a break. Unfortunately, I don’t believe anyone can do this. I had been specifically struggling with what would happen to [name removed] when I took my step back for a little time of respite. I was not trusting my team and I most importantly was not trusting God.
It came together yesterday that I realized it was ok for me to take care of my wounds, and that even though, as selfishly as I might have been thinking that I was the only one doing anything. I have a lot of people on my team that are ready to step in and hold me up when I need it. And that no matter what, there will always be hope.
It’s been so long since I’ve had the opportunity to be frail and at the same time have hope for what God has called us all to do. I realize now that I am part of a magnificent team, and for that I thank you so much. No words can express how I feel this morning.
I don’t feel the need to add anything further to this, except perhaps to share my brief reply.
This is such a beautiful realization in your life. Although I had no idea you were struggling with this, it becomes clear in hindsight. I’m so glad we could be there for you, and I’m absolutely thrilled to think that we are really beginning to gel as an authentic community! Sharing one another’s sorrows, and joys…
I wrote a short blog post a long time ago entitled Let Jesus Be Jesus To You. I think it speaks to exactly your type of situation.
This Advent season, I hope you can allow Jesus to be Jesus to you, and rest in the knowledge of his absolute goodness.