Worship Gatherings - Rounding out 2008

Here is a list of the discussion topics for The Core Worship Gathering through the end of 2008. The Gathering takes place at the Front Porch each Sunday morning at 10:30, with a free brunch at 10. All dates, topics and titles are subject to change without notice. (Deal with it!)

This coming Sunday, August 10, will be the final message in the Be + Live series: Salvation ("Think of the Savings.")

The Sunday after that, Michael "Mik" Mikulan will speak. In the next few days he will announce his topic.

Jesus' Take (or: How to be an Impolite Dinner Guest) - Volume I

On August 24 we will begin a series on hot-button social issues, that will be split in half. The first half will be four weeks long, and run through September 14. It will pick up again with Volume II in early 2009.

August 24 - Fighting the War on Violence (Jesus' Take on War)
August 31 - Those Poor People (Jesus' Take on Poverty)
September 7 - Human Traffic Jam (Jesus' Take on Forced Prostitution and Slavery)
September 14 - Feeding the Fever (Jesus' Take on Global Warming and the Environment)

September 21 will be open to a guest speaker.

Eight Excuses to Party

Beginning September 28 will be an 8-week series (with a one-week break in the middle) about the Jewish holidays, and how they map out God's redemptive journey with mankind.

The first four holidays actually correspond on the calendar to the following dates (meaning, the holiday takes place a few days after we will be discussing it.) The next four do not occur during autumn at all.

September 28 - The Ultimate Trumpet Solo (Rosh Hoshanah)
October 5 - The Anti-Party (Yom Kippur)
October 12 - Grown-ups Building Little Forts (Sukkot)
October 19 - Dancing in the Streets (Simkha Torah)

October 26 - Break for a guest speaker

November 2 - Like Halloween without the Evil (Purim)
November 9 - 3000 Calories, Zero Carbs (Passover)
November 16 - From Stone Tablets to Flaming Hair (Shavuot/Pentecost)
November 23 - Eight Crazy Nights (Hanukkah)

Advent Conspiracy

I've wanted The Core to be able to do this for over a year now. Advent Conspiracy was founded by Imago Dei Community in Portland, Oregon, and is a group of churches who have banded together to take the commercialism, materialism and stress out of Christmas, and return it to a holiday of true giving, genuine worship, and real love.

November 30 - The Most Stressful Time of the Year (The art of spending less)
December 7 - Water to the Thirsty (The art of giving more)
December 14 - Wealth Through Poverty (The art of Christlike love)
December 21 - God in the Flesh (The power of Incarnation)

December 28 will be open to a guest speaker




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Now Taking Questions...

Last Wednesday our QAF Sessions focused on gathering questions from participants, to be used in future QAFs. Here is the list I took down. If you are plan to participate in the QAF Sessions in the near future, please add a question to the comments. If you can't join us, feel free to add a question anyway, but I will probably be quicker to use questions from participants than non-participants.

I am not a Bible Answer Guru, and I don't know any. So conclusions and right answers are not really the point here, so please don't try to answer them in the comments. The point is that we are able to ask these questions, and able to discuss them openly, with no fear of dirty looks for being honest. So here are the questions that were asked Wednesday night.

• Is there a feminine or female side of God? Does God have a gender at all?
• The Bible seems to imply that we are judged by what we do. How does salvation by grace fit into that?
• Is it wrong to be so content with life that you don't care what happens to you after you die?
• How reliable is Scripture? Have human hands compromised it in the inscription or translation process? How perfect can our translations possibly be?
• Why does Biblical history seem absent from academic history books?
• Is it wrong to focus your education on attaining job security?
• Is it a sin to do what you want if you don't know what God wants you to do?
• Do we have to suffer in order to serve God?
• What is the point of suffering?
• Does God cause disaster, as it seems to say in Isaiah 45:7?
• How do we reckon with some of the disturbing character traits of God?
• How can we say God is good when he instigates massacres like the flood?
• How literally should we read the Bible (i.e. "Bind these words upon your head...)

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Untouchable

This morning Charles, one of The Core's leaders, shared about the compassionate miracles of Jesus. Here are some quotes from that, as my memory serves me.

From a theatrical monologue: "I am a leper... and I had not been touched in five years, not by my wife, my children, not even brushed by a stranger in a crowd, until today, when Jesus touched me."

"By touching the unclean he was not merely being uncouth. From a cultural perspective, he was inviting that uncleanness onto himself. He was sacrificing his social acceptability for the sake of compassion."

"When did Jesus' following begin to diminish? It was when he started talking about what was going to happen to him. At first he did miracles, because his disciples weren't ready to hear the ugly truth yet. But eventually he started leveling with them... 'There's a cross at the end of this road for me. And there's a cross for you, too.'"

West Bank Choppers (and Gougers)

Things are getting a little crazy... not a good environment for avid blogging.

I'm very busy at my new job. Things are great... in fact, a little too great. I get a bonus for each hour I spend doing graphic design work for our clients. And I have so much design work to do in the next week and a half that I'm not sure if I can finish it all. It's like the nets that were so full of fish they were breaking.

And our Sunday Worship Gatherings are packing out. A similar problem, I suppose. But the whole idea of what we're doing on Sundays at the Front Porch is to have an intimate, relational, comfortable environment for people to open up and feel like they really matter to each other. But when you start running out of chairs and start feeling tempted to set them up in rows instead of around tables, the very success of the effort can be its own demise.

Last Sunday I talked about the Sermon on the Mount. I made a couple of points that I don't hear bandied about much:

1) I don't believe Jesus was "preaching" to the crowd. I believe he was retreating from the crowd, and instructing his disciples. By "disciples" I mean not just the 12, but those who had made some sort of sacrifice to follow him. I think if you read the accounts carefully in both Matthew and Luke, you will see why I believe this. But I think it's important, because it explains why the Sermon on the Mount looks more like a list of instructions, and less like an inspirational oratory.

2) I think I have an actual explanation for one of the weirdest things Jesus ever said, in Matthew 5:29, 30... "If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off... if your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out... Every commentary I could find says basically that Jesus was emphasizing to us the true danger of sin, and the seriousness of avoiding that which can lead us into it. But that just sounds lame to me, like the answer of someone who doesn't really know, but has to act like they do anyway. My point is, Jesus just got finished talking about committing adultery (or murder) in the heart. He is teaching us that all sin really occurs in the heart, and what our hands or our eyes do is just an outworking of sin, or a manifestation of sin. When he talks about your right hand causing you to sin, he's referring to what he said earlier about murder, and how the sin is actually occurring in your heart, not in your hand. Same thing with the right eye, and adultery.

Jesus is mocking those (the Pharisees, primarily) who try to blame their sin on their appendages, suggesting that if they just removed those body parts, they could be free of sin. Thus he re-inforces his antidote to legalism by reminding us that sin occurs in the heart, at the deepest part of ourselves, where only God can truly judge us.

Later on that evening, after the Super Bowl, my friend Phillip (who heard my shpiel earlier that morning) asked me about my assertions on that passage. He said he believed that Jesus was also saying that we should try to avoid the things that may cause us to sin.

Although I do believe it is wise to understand what things bring temptation into your life, and to structure your life in such a way to minimize temptation (I do this myself) I cannot believe that this was even one of Jesus' points in Matthew 5:29 and 30. And this is why: Jesus takes great pains to contradict the legalism of the Pharisees, and one of the greatest Pharisaical blunders is to mandate the creation of giant hedges around the law. Meta-laws, if you will, that purport to erect an insurmountable shield to God's actual laws. This is taking the wisdom of avoiding temptation to a ridiculous extreme, that creates a tremendous burden on people who are simply trying to live their lives.

Despite this burden, the common people actually admired the Pharisees. They were it. Nobody needed to be told to try and avoid temptation... the true sin in that culture was to believe that there were humanly possible ways to be sinless and perfect, and the result was a truly insidious type of legalism, that deserved all the ridicule Jesus could muster.

I can actually image the raucous laughter that might have ensued as Jesus mimed out the cutting off of a hand, or the gouging out of an eye, as if such self-mutilation (also referenced by Paul, although of a much more... ahem... personal... variety) could actually bring about righteousness. Jesus took their error to its natural, logical conclusion, and exposed their absurdities. And he actually did it many times throughout his ministry.

Jesus would like to thank you for reading... you've been a wonderful audience. Don't forget to tip your waitresses.

The Count

It's not about the numbers. It never has been.

Of course, if you follow this blog at all, you know that already. But saying it is a whole lot easier than meaning it.

I made a commitment last year to never count people unless there was an important practical reason. Estimations are less dangerous, but still suspect.

But it turns out that so much of the survival of The Core has come to hinge on that dreadful phrase: "Sunday Morning Attendance." The more people come, the more viable and successful it will seem to those who are there. This was proven to me over the past two weeks.

Last Sunday we had our first Second Sunday Artist Spotlight, and we featured artist Jon Stanton. Prior to that our highest attendance had been roughly 25. But this time it was closer to 40 (although, in keeping with our philosophy, nobody actually counted.)

I thought to myself, "OK... that was fun. Very encouraging. Some friends and family of the artist showed up to boost the showing a bit. Now let's see what happens next week." And what happened (this morning) was... the same thing. Without the boost.

They say success begets success. That when people see something work, or they see it well attended, that their perception of it improves automatically. I've experienced this firsthand. One young lady came several months ago on a Sunday morning, and seemed to really appreciate what she experienced, although there were not many more than a dozen in attendance. She came again last Sunday, and expressed her surprise at the number of people. "I really liked it the first time I came," she said, "but I was a little worried because there were, like, only eight people there or so." But when she came the second time and saw the place mostly full, it made a different impression entirely. I guess it's mob psychology in a way... "If this many people like it, it must be good."

So now I feel like it's a whole new ballgame. It definitely feels different with 3 or 4 dozen than with only 1 dozen. We need more brunch food. The sound system becomes more important. Some people are forced to sit towards the front. Plus there's just an energy to it that doesn't exist otherwise.

Believe me... I'm as much a fan of smallness as I ever was. But when it became apparent that The Core was going to have to survive (financially) primarily by its own devices, I started to realize how important it would be to build a self-sustaining fellowship, and that that body would have to be a certain size to be viable.

From where I sit, it looks like that's exactly what God is doing, although you never can tell for sure. Each week belongs to him... it's his call whether we're supposed to have 9 or 90 next week.

Although if you want to know my preference... I hope it's somewhere in between.

Mid-December Miscellany

Here we are... 12 days to Christmas and my mind is filled with miscellany. So why even try to focus? Here's a hodge-podge, a menagerie, a winding journey through a wandering mind.

Advent Conspiracy

One occupant of my mind that only seems to grow stronger is the sense that I should be a part of helping everyone get it right when it comes to Christmas. No, I'm not talking about the culture wars of who has the almighty guts to actually say "Merry Christmas". It scares me to oblivion to think of three Christian fathers showing up at Best Buy for the only remaining Nintendo Wii, pounding each other to a pulp for it, and then all being careful to wish the "Happy Holidays" clerk a "Merry Christmas" on their way out.

Imago Dei is a church in Portland that has made a real effort to instigate a change in the rabid commercialization of the birth of Christ. It's called Advent Conspiracy, and it urges everyone to spend less, and give more... specifically to provide clean water for those in the world who have none. I encourage everyone to check it out, and I could definitely see The Core jumping on board with this in 2008. There's a great video on Tim Keel's blog about the joy of giving clean water.

Downtown Conversation

There's a lot of new stuff coming in downtown. Artist Susan Sommer-Luarca renovated, and now opened, a gorgeous new gallery just across the intersection from the Front Porch, a new coffeehouse on the square, called The Coffee Ethic, has now come online, and at the same time a quaint little shop called Global Fayre has hit the Campbell Avenue scene just a block away. The best part is, In the last 24 hours I have had great conversations with the proprietors of all three of these new establishments, and they have all been actually quite deep. I pray that there will be many more opportunities to connect meaningfully with our downtown neighbors.

Vocationality

And speaking of great conversations, I am having some of the best conversations so far with my co-workers now that I have decided, after 2 1/2 years working at Second Baptist Church, to move on. In case you weren't aware, I took a position at Second in May 2005, primarily to handle their graphic design and layout. But now I have accepted the role of Office Manager/Graphic Designer at a downtown print shop called Trader's Printing Company. It's a small, family owned business that has had a strong presence downtown for over 80 years, so that's pretty exciting. Not to mention the fact that my round-trip commute will be reduced from 18 miles to 3 miles, and that I'll be working full-time only a block from the Front Porch!

It's Getting Easier to be Green

I'll have to post some pictures on this topic soon, but I did want to let everyone know that the Front Porch's green room (the room behind the stage) is getting a make-over. We were donated a couch and easy-chair set from a furniture store across the street the went out of business. And check this out... it's a very hip set: two-tone leather worth $5500! In addition to that we've been donated a 32" flat-panel TV. So now we can deck out the Green Room and make it a comfy spot for Discussion Groups, Counseling, Prayer, Study Groups, and the older kiddos (pre-schoolers) who come on Sunday mornings. Just throw in an end table and a floor lamp and we're in business.

Merging and Changing

I'm keeping the details a little bit quiet at the moment, but we're looking forward to our new year of Sunday morning Worship Gatherings. Stay tuned as new ideas unfold...

What a Sell-Out!

This is just a short post to let everybody know that the Hit the Lights Fashion Show on Saturday evening was a complete success! We sold every last ticket, filled up every seat, and even let a few people in for the ticket price who knew they would have nowhere to sit. Here are the (approximate) numbers:

110 tickets sold
35 garments exhibited
25 models exhibiting them
10 designers
18 auction items sold
15 volunteers & coordinators
1 fantastic evening

I'll post some pictures within the next week. Praise God, and thanks to all of you who came, or helped!

Some Thoughts on Merge

I'm gonna tack on another post about Merge to share with everybody some of my thoughts about it so far, and thoughts from a few others who have come multiple times. Two days ago was our fourth Sunday to do Merge in the morning. Turns out my neighbor Andrew is a great jazz guitarist, and he paired up with me to lead the music. He also plans to do it next week. After the Thankgiving holiday, I plan to add some hand percussion, and hopefully some female vocals.

The discussion was about the 10 plagues in Egypt, and how Jesus shows up in the baking of unleavened bread, and the slaughtering of the spotless lamb to save the Hebrews from the Angel of Death. And we had a comfortably large group, not the biggest so far, but probably a tie if you don't count out-of-towners or one-time visitors from other churches.

My thoughts about counting:

I'm finding it harder to stick to my commitment to not count people. I've done well not to count them during the gathering, but afterwards I tend to rehearse my memory of all those who came, and count them up then. In a way, that's not so bad, because it forces me to try to remember each individual who came, and remember their names if I can. As long as I can do it that way, I don't see a problem with counting. But if it gets too large for me to do that anymore, I think we should just guesstimate. I don't want us to do any actual counting, or to entertain questions like "So what are you runnin' these days?" My desire is to share our estimates with those who would honestly like to understand the atmosphere of our gatherings, and what they're like, but not to share them with those who want to gauge our "success" by numbers.

My thoughts about the name "Merge"

I'm thinking very strongly about getting rid of it. As it is, people know they're coming to the "Front Porch" and many of them also know they're coming to "Merge". But I think very few people have any idea what "The Core" is. I believe we're causing confusion. Chances are, within a few weeks, we'll just start calling our Sunday morning thing "The Core Worship Gathering" to simplify things for everyone. Maybe "Merge" will "re-emerge" at a later time, who knows.

Now I want to share some other people's thoughts. Jessica is one of my favorites, because she has come all four times since we began it, and next week will be watching the kids. She's a student at Missouri State. Nate is awesome as well... I met him at the Drury University Student Fair, and he's hung around pretty consistently. We've also jammed on guitars, and I'm determined to get him in on the music part of our worship gatherings soon.

From Jessica:

Yeah, I definitely love Merge. It has been cool to be there from the beginning of the Sunday morning gatherings. I really feel like it is genuine community, and I am all about that. I think the atmosphere is really great, and the people that I invite always really like it.

My friend that I had with me this week was Larry. He was one of my first friends when I came to college. He is a really great guy. He plans on going to seminary after he graduates and serving as a missionary in Japan. He is so passionate about Japanese culture.

But, yeah, I really like Merge. I think it is really inviting for everyone...believers, non-believers, people who aren't sure what they are. I am learning a lot from the discussions. I love the series that we are doing right now. Isn't it great to...you know...actually talk about JESUS, not Paul or Moses or Jessica. I just like it a lot. I also really like the fact that different musicians come in every week to help. I think it is great to see different people, and it may help from some people getting burnt out by doing it every week.

Ryan's response: I agree that it's great to talk about Jesus. But at the same time, I like to talk about Jesus in relation to everything else. I like to talk about Jesus AND Paul, about Jesus AND Moses, or about Jesus AND Jessica, if you know what I mean. As far as the music goes, I do hope it stabilizes at least somewhat. But the variety is definitely good, and I hope we always have some of that.

From Nate:

I really like it. It seems to be a lot more personal than other places that I've gone to. I also like how open ended it is: the different "modes" of seating and involvement, the fact that we can add our own comments, and just the atmosphere itself create a truly personal and worshipful experience. One thing that I've been thinking about are the discussions. I know we're covering the foundations and history of Jesus, but that's not really what is important. And, when one focus of such a worship gathering is to draw non-Christians to a deep and meaningful relationship with Christ, and when just the Old Testament and such are presented to them, all they would see was a history lesson and not the salvation that was established later. I know you talk about Jesus in them, but not really specifically about what he did. Not to say that these messages are not uplifting and purposeful, but they tend to seem more like a bible study and not like a outreach tool. I don't know, just sending some thoughts.

Ryan's response: Thanks also for the critique about the discussions. The Old Testament is a tough nut to crack, and I want to help people a little bit by showing them how Jesus shows up in it. But I definitely won't claim that I'm knocking it out of the park. We'll just be in the OT for one more week, and then we'll be in the gospels for three or four months.

Snippets from QAF

Last night's QAF Session was truly amazing. We had between 7 and 12 people there, as there was always some coming-and-going.

The quotes that follow are not guaranteed for accuracy. That, and privacy, are two reasons I don't credit the source of each quote. Some quotes are actually mash-ups of the comments of two or three different people. At one point, I name the speakers A,B,C, etc. to help explain the flow of conversation.

The central question was "Who is God?", but as you'll see, the discussion ranged pretty widely.

"I don't think you can prove God doesn't exist. I don't think you can prove anything doesn't exist. I could say 'There's no such thing as unicorns' but unless I could scour every inch of the earth at once, I couldn't prove it."

"I'm an atheist. I don't think God would let things get this bad."

"Maybe it's our fault things are so bad. We Americans could just give up ice cream and use the money we saved to completely eliminate poverty in the world."

"If life somehow spontaneously evolved from non-life, it would also have to immediately develop a complex system of reproduction in order to continue life."

"God wanted to create creatures that would love him. But love doesn't mean anything unless there is the free will to not love."

"Gender is a physical designation. God is not physical, he is spirit. God chose to spend 33 years as a male person, and be confined to that for awhile, but if God were confined in his essence to a gender designation, then he could not be the creator of gender. If that's the case then someone else created gender... and that creator would be the real God.

A: "I don't know who my dad is... I don't believe in God."

B: "Maybe those things are connected."

C: "I think my dad is perfect, but I think God is an asshole."

B: "That blows my theory."

D: "My life was perfect, but then I woke up and some doctor was telling me that I was paranoid schizophrenic. I have excruciating headaches every night, but I don't think God is an asshole."

A: "I do!"

E: "I thought you didn't believe in God."

A: "I guess I do. But I don't like him. I don't like him for making you schizophrenic."

"People pre-judge me because I'm a double minority. I'm black, and I'm a woman. Everywhere I go I try to present myself in a way so people don't judge me by their stereotypes."

"I'll never understand why God went through that kind of pain for my sake. I'll never understand how he could take the most powerful bond in the world... the love between God the Father and God the Son, and rip it in half to save me."

"It's like that Petra song... 'Would I die for a person like me?'"

Another Write-up for The Core

I almost missed this one, in the November 2 News-Leader... http://www.news-leader.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007711040319

Here's our portion of the article, in case the link gets archived, and becomes unavailable:

On a recent weekend night, the Front Porch on South Avenue was filled with young people hanging out on couches, playing board games and perusing a selection of books lining a wall. Blackbird Cathedral, an instrumental trio, played music on a small stage while listeners ordered pastries or coffee.

"It's pretty laid-back," said Britney Carlo, 20, who was checking out the venue with her friend Emerald Callon, 21. "We like this atmosphere."

Not the typical mental picture one might think of when it comes to a night out in downtown Springfield. Though the perception of downtown as merely a bunch of bars and nightclubs is a common one, it is increasingly a misconception.

Though nightlife watering holes helped lead the revitalization of the center-city district throughout the 1990s and early 2000s, the continuing evolution of the area has meant more options for people of all ages and wider interests. From coffee to arcade games to music to comedy, a wide array of entertainment options downtown have nothing to do with alcohol.

Ryan Wiksell, who runs the Front Porch along with his wife, Christina, said they intent for the Front Porch to be a place for meeting and mixing.

The venue is a physical space for a Christian group called the Core, but Wiksell said the space isn't devoted solely to Core activities.

"It's a social venue for art, culture and community," Wiksell said. "Community — that's the big word for us."

The Front Porch opened in September. For Wiksell, there wasn't any doubt as to the best location to attract diverse crowds of people.

"A big part of it is just loving downtown," he said when asked about inspiration for starting the Front Porch. "We wanted to be part of all that vibrancy, all the life that's down here."

Sunday

Let me just say that I had a beautiful day on Sunday. So good, in fact, that it made me wonder what suffering I might have to endure this week to pay for it.

I'm joking. But if the Chiefs hadn't lost, and provided a necessary smudge on an otherwise perfect day, I would be serious.

This was the second week that we held our Merge worship gathering on Sunday morning. The first week was fine. Some people came, I had some wonderful help with the music side of things, and I was ok with it.

But this time was better. Even though I didn't have any help with the music (next week Skyler Smith and Joe Terry will join me) I just really enjoyed everything. Some people showed up in time for brunch... some people brought food who didn't have to... and we had a great time eating and shooting the breeze. Jason ran sound and powerpoint, and has committed to helping out with that every week. Matt & Andrea brought their whole freakin' extended family.

Two girls I knew from the South Haven youth group came and brought a college friend. Two girls that sang for Open Mic the night before came, and are interested in helping with music in the future. A guy we met at the Drury Activities Fair a few months back showed up. One college girl that was there the first week came back, and brought a friend. The wife and son of one of our former exhibiting artists came. Christina was there, Angela was there, Amanda was there, our neighbor three doors down came and brought his 5-year-old son. One family peered in the window and started to move on, until I came out and asked them if they were looking for the worship gathering. Once they were convinced that it wasn't all young people, they came in, and really enjoyed it.

Like I've said before, we don't count people. But I will probably look back on Sundays like this, and miss being able to list off all the people who came.

Since I didn't have any help with music, I just played four songs on the piano. I apologized several times for making it look like it was the Ryan Show, but nevertheless, I felt like God was doing it his way, and the environment seemed very worshipful. After that, we all grouped up with those around us to share our needs and concerns, etc, for prayer. Every group seemed to be chatting happily when it was time to move on.

So I put a stool down on the floor, near the front of the group, and shared what I knew about the first mention of Jesus in the Bible, what some call the "proto-evangelion". This is where Adam and Eve sin, and God curses the serpent, saying that Eve's offspring will crush his head. That "offspring" is Jesus.

When I asked for a volunteer to read Genesis 2:25, I gave everyone a warning. "You need to be comfortable with the "n" word if you want to read it," I said. Everyone kind of squirmed, and after a few tense moments someone read out loud, "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." The tension dissipated a bit, and I realized why. "There's the "n" word there... "naked". The other "n" word is not in the Bible, by the way. I've read the whole thing, and it's just not there, so you don't have to worry about that." That got a chuckle.

The rest of the talk was a combination of sharing and questioning, and several people were happy to put in their two cents. The main thing we discovered is that this is not our story, it's God's story. Jesus is the star of the New Testament AND the Old Testament. But in addition to that, he needs to be the star of our own stories. Most of us make ourselves the star, and think too highly of ourselves. Some make ourselves an extra, and think too lowly of ourselves. God has made us to be important supporting actors in this story. We are each vital, but we are not what it's all about. Jesus is.

Another thing I loved was the set-up. Some people sat in the rows at the front, others at cafe tables just behind that, and still others in couches along the side, or towards the back. I think it was quite comfy.

So that was the AM. But there's more! Later in the evening, Christina and I took a walk down Pickwick Street, an annual fall tradition for us, since Pickwick is a beautiful place to enjoy the fall foliage. When we were almost back to our car, we passed a little store called Incense and Peppermints, which is a cute hippie store that sells hippie stuff. It looked like it had been broken into, and the owner was inside looking very distraught. So we came over and asked her if we could do anything to help. She said no, but she proceeded to vent about everything that had been going wrong in her life... her dog had died, her friend had committed suicide, and now this.

We just listened, and eventually she invited us in for a beer. So we joined her inside as she scrounged up a few chairs to sit and talk. And she talked a lot... and we listened a lot, sipping on our Bud Lights.

This post is getting way to long to go on about our conversation with her, except to say that it was beautiful, for us, and apparently for her.

That's it. That was our day.

God is good.

Merge - The Next Six Months

So I'm feeling pretty good about our new Sunday morning set-up... Merge Worship Gathering, 10:30 am, you know...

Last Sunday was really beautiful, I think. You should come see for yourself. It was comfortable, it was casual, but also challenging and impactful, too. Everybody got to have a say, get involved, get to know each other in an authentic way. I liked it.

Now I'd like you to know what I've got in mind for the next six months, as far as the discussions go. For now I'll just mention the framework to give you a rough idea. I'll work on the creative stuff later. Here's a few things you should know first:

-So far, Merge's definitions of a "discussion" is some people sitting in curved rows, some at tables, some at couches, at varying distances from the platform. The discussion leader sits on a stool placed on the floor somewhere toward the front of all this. This could change, and it could vary. I like it, but I hope it does change and vary. And I expect other speakers to rotate in from time to time.

-When I talk about "going through scripture" I'm not checking off chapters or verses like a to-do list. I want people to get a sense of the Grand Story of God, and simultaneously to realize that they have an important part to play in it. So scripture will be used as a springboard for real life issues, and as a measuring stick to hold us accountable. So scripture is one of those bendy rulers that are fun to wack on your desk when you're feeling ancy.

-The discussions will be a combination of asking questions, but also clear teaching. God has given us real truth to work with, just not as much as some people think. And unless we listen to those we are addressing, we're in danger of speaking to someone who's not even in the room.

NEXT SIX MONTHS: The Jesus Saga
(this is all subject to change at any time)

November - Prophecies and Pre-figurations of Jesus

November 4 - The Fall of Man, the Curse and the Promise
November 11 - The Exodus, the Angel of Death
November 18 - Melchizedek, the Pre-Incarnate Christ?
November 25 - Prophecies of Pain - Psalm 22, Isaiah 53

December - Advent

December 2 - Messianic Prophecy, Inter-testamental period
December 9 - Anticipating a Savior (Israel, Elizabeth, John in the womb)
December 16 - Mary & Joseph
December 23 - The nativity
December 30 -

January - The Early Years

January 6 - Jesus' circumcision, Simeon & Anna, Epiphany
January 13 - John the Baptist, Jesus' cousin & fore-runner
January 20 - Water into Wine, the first miracle
January 27 - Calling of the Disciples

February - The Ministry of Jesus

February 3 - Sermon on the Mount
February 10 - Two Greatest Commandments
February 17 - The Inspirational Miracles
February 24 - The Compassionate Miracles

March - The Road to the Cross

March 2 - Clearing the Temple
March 9 - Jesus and the Pharisees
March 16 - Palm Sunday - Last Supper & Good Friday
March 23 - Easter - Resurrection Day
March 30 - The Great Commission & Ascension

April - The Aftermath

April 6 - Pentecost & the Holy Spirit
April 13 - Explosive Growth
April 20 - Saul's Coversion & Contribution
April 27 - The First Century Church

The Discovery Sessions

Within a few weeks/months The Core plans to start a small group to study and discuss what it means to follow Christ, at the most basic level. Chances are it will meet Wednesdays at the Front Porch, from 7:30 - 9:00 pm. The best title I can think of for a group like this is a "Discovery Group" since I want both newish believers and seekers to feel welcome, and be able to benefit. I'm posting here my preliminary ideas for the content of each week so I can get your thoughts about the material, and about whether the word "discovery" is kind of cheesy, or "modernistic". The reason the content consists entirely of questions is not so I can be the "answer man", but so that people can really add to their perspectives to the whole experience. Although we will accept, and even embrace, uncertainty when it seems spiritually appropriate, Biblical truth and certainty will not take a back seat.

Week 1 - What is the Bible?

It might seem a tad fundamentalist to start right off talking about the Bible, but unless we establish it as a foundation for our spiritual knowledge and dialogue, everything else we talk about will be based on mere human ideas and theories.

-Who wrote it?
-What part has God played in its authorship/compilation/translation?
-What do we mean when we say its authoritative and inspired?
-What is the role of the Old Testament in our lives? The New Testament?
-What parts of the Bible should we consider "binding"?
-How does the story of God play out from Genesis to Revelation? What does that have to do with my own story?

Week 2 - Who is God?

To embrace mystery and uncertainty right out of the gate, we will talk about the Trinity. The Trinity defies modernistic, scientific analysis, and lays a good groundwork for our discussions about God. If we could analyze him, and fully understand him, then we should worship someone else. But he has revealed enough to us for us to have a relationship with him.

-What is the Trinity?
-Did God really create the universe? How did he do it?
-How is God like people? How is he unlike people? Is God male/female/neither?
-What are the essential characteristics of God? Can he contradict himself? Can he limit himself?

Week 3 - Who is Jesus?

The entire Discovery Group series is for both believers and unbelievers. Although no one will be pressured at any point into making a personal decision, week 3 will be a prime opportunity for unbelievers to seriously consider surrendering their lives to Jesus.

-What does "Son of God" mean?
-Why is it important that Jesus was born to a virgin? Why is it important that he never sinned?
-What did Jesus do on earth? Why did he have to do it?
-What did Jesus teach? Why?
-What's with all the miracles and healings?
-Did Jesus really raise himself from the dead? Why is that so important?
-How did Jesus' culture (Israelite) play into his life and mission?
-What is Jesus doing now? What will he do in the future?
-What does Jesus expect of me? How should I respond? What is Baptism?

Week 4 - Who is the Holy Spirit?

All denominations believe in the Holy Spirit, and the vast majority agree about the essential nature of the Holy Spirit. Controversies will be lightly discussed, but not debated. For example, tongues, baptism in the Holy Spirit, and the femininity of the Holy Spirit.

-Is the Holy Spirit a "thing", or a "being"? A "he", or a "she"?
-What is the Holy Spirit's relationship to the Father and the Son?
-What role did the HS have in the Old Testament? The New Testament?
-What role does the HS have today? In my own life?
-What does the "baptism of the HS" mean? What's with the speaking in tongues, and other strange things?

Week 5 - Who am I? What is humanity?

In order to round out an understanding of the God - man dynamic, we need to understand our place in creation, fall and redemption.

-What were we created to be?
-What happened? Why is everything so terrible now?
-What is God's plan for the human race? What is salvation? What does it mean to have a relationship with God?
-How do I fit into all this? Does God have a specific plan for me, or the same for everyone?
-How do I exercise my talents and passions? What are "spiritual gifts"?
-Why can't I stop doing things I know are wrong?
-How do I deal with other people when they hurt me?
-Does Jesus promise to "fix" my life?

Week 6 - What is the Church?

Week 6 will emphasize the universality of the Church--that all who believe, and are covered by the blood of Christ, are brothers and sisters in him, and thus, members of the same Church. The local church will be introduced as a practical manifestation of the global Church. Unity will be emphasized (through love, not compromise) and divisiveness will be condemned.

-What does the word "church" mean? What does "Body of Christ" mean?
-Was it really God's idea?
-What is the "true" Church? Why all the denominations and divisions?
-What are the main purposes of the Church?
-What is the leadership supposed to look like?
-What are we supposed to do when we get together? What is Communion?
-What is my obligation to the Body?

Week 7 - How should we relate to the World?

A new believer often needs a period to separate from the worldly culture around him or her. But there comes a time when re-entry is essential. And understanding of the nature of this relationship is vital to make sure a believer becomes an influencer to the world, and not a spiritual victim of it.

-What are the Two Greatest Commandments?
-How do we go about loving our neighbors as ourselves?
-What is the Great Commission? Am I supposed to be a missionary?
-How do we go about making disciples?
-How do I spread Jesus' message without being a bigot/jerk/nuisance/failure?
-How much of the world's culture should I reject? How much can I integrate into my faith?
-What can I do about social injustice and suffering in the world?

Spiritual Experience Survey (Take 2)

Note: the first time this post published, the survey link didn't work. I think I've fixed it... so please try again. Thanks!

Now that I've signed up with iContact to manage The Core's weekly e-mails (with Yahoo! Mail I could only send 100 per hour, so I had to do it in 3 shifts) I've decided to also take advantage of their Survey service. So now you can chime in on...

The Core's Spiritual Experience

There's just fourteen questions on it, and after answering a few basic demographic questions, I want you to see what you'll be up against:

• How would you best describe your spirituality?
• What has your involvement been so far with The Core and The Front Porch?
• Which of these church experiences are the most meaningful to you, when done well?
• What sort of music best helps you connect to God?
• How do you feel about Sermons?
• How do you feel about Interactive Prayer?
• What size(s) of group best help you grow spiritually?
• When should the primary gathering of a church take place?
• What is the minimum necessary provision for children in a church?

So go ahead... take the survey. I dare you.

I am also putting a link to it in the right column underneath "The Core Essentials". And if you know someone else who can contribute with their perspective, don't hesitate to send this to a friend.

Front Porch on KSPR

Here's a story that ran last Friday on Springfield's ABC News affiliate, KSPR 33. Not too bad for a short spot, I'd say. My only (minor) complaints are that we're called "Core" instead of "The Core" and I am listed as "Youth Pastor" instead of "Pastor" (I guess the subtitle people assumed the word "pastor" was a mistake, judging by my... a-youthful a-ppearance.) Also the fact that it took them a week and a half to get it up on the web. I'll try to get the video onto the "media" page of our website soon, too. Enjoy!

Communion

If I'm going to write a post about Communion (or the Lord's Supper) I have to start with a confession, and repentance. It has been my responsibility, as a pastor, to make sure that the people who worship with The Core have the regular experience of Communion... the bread and the cup. In The Core's two-year history, however, we have done it only once. At the very absolute minimum, it should be done once per year, at Passover, but I haven't even managed that much. For that I am very sorry, and I now have plans to fix this problem.

Starting on Sunday, September 23, Re:Group will begin taking Communion together, on the Fourth Sunday of each month (the first Sunday after Merge.) We will use grape juice instead of alcoholic wine because minors are likely to be involved from time-to-time, quite often without their parents (think college underclassmen) and because there may be those present struggling with alcoholism currently, or in their past. We will use unleavened matzah bread instead of anything else because leaven, or yeast, is a powerful symbol of sin in the Bible, and therefore the unleavened bread is a powerful symbol of the body of our sinless Savior.

Now I'm going to talk about one of the reasons I was reluctant to start serving Communion on a regular basis. It's not an excuse, just a reason. And that is the open/closed communion controversy. After some discussion, we have made a decision how to handle it.

Since it is not unlikely that there will be unbelievers present when we serve Communion, we have to be very careful that we do not include them in a way that is disrespectful to the commandment to "eat this bread and drink this cup"... "in a worthy manner". Let me make a few points before I share our conclusion.

1) In a small group setting, a non-believer would likely feel very awkward being told not to participate in something that every other person is doing. Feeling excluded and embarrassed, such a person is not likely to come back.

2) There is nothing magical (or even miraculous) about the juice, the bread, or the act of consuming it in a certain setting. We do not agree with the Catholic doctrine of trans-substantiation, which says that the juice (or wine) literally becomes the blood of Christ, and the bread literally becomes his body. Therefore, a person does not sin by taking Communion in ignorance, or in an unsaved state. It is rather the spiritual leader of the group who sins if he or she does not communicate clearly about it. If it is communicated clearly, then the leader cannot assume responsibility for whether or not each person understand, or complies.

3) The "unworthy manner" that Paul talks about in I Corinthians 11 refers to those who eat and drink without a) showing kindness and consideration to one another in that gathering, b) proclaiming the Lord's death, c) examining one's heart, and d) recognizing the body of the Lord. Letters (b) and (d) can only be done by believers, but (a) and (c) can be done by anyone.

4) Sin can only occur in the context of Communion in two situations: a) if the spiritual leader misleads non-believers into thinking that they are fully included in the Body of Christ by partaking, or that there is real spiritual benefit to the act itself, apart from belief and self-examination. Or, b) if a believer in Christ takes Communion in a way that is rude, selfish, thoughtless and dishonoring to God.

5) Jews practice the drinking of wine and the eating of unleavened bread every year at Passover. When a Jew learns the true significance of this act, and comes to believe in Jesus, her lifelong experience of the bread and the cup serve to enrich her understanding of Communion once she is a believer. Likewise, if an unbeliever eats and drinks with believers at Communion, all the while understanding that this is a time to examine one's heart, but the true meaning of the tradition comes when one's heart is surrendered to Christ, his inclusion can serve as a very positive experience in his journey toward salvation. What better moment to think about Christ, and examine one's attitude toward him than in a setting of loving acceptance and mutual introspection with sincere believers?

What we've concluded then is that the drinking of the cup and the eating of the bread can only be considered "Communion" when accomplished by someone who is a believer. If unbelievers were to join in the eating and drinking, it would simply be eating and drinking, and no harm is done, as long as they are not being led to believe something false by those who are serving.

So when the cup and bread are served, it will be made clear that this experience is designed specifically for believers for reasons stated above. If you are not a believer, you are free to pass on it. However, you are also free to take it, while knowing that it cannot really be understood or experienced as Communion without a heart that is surrendered to Christ. In the meantime, if you take it, please use this moment to examine your heart, and your attitude toward Christ, and see if you sense that he is calling you to himself. Ask him if you have been reluctant to accept something that you know in your heart is right. We hope that, either today or soon, you can find yourself transformed in the presence of Christ. But nevertheless, be aware that you will always be welcome among us, no matter what you believe.

Serendipity

When you don't believe in luck, chance or coincidence you're typically left with a lot of churchy words to describe the unexpected neat stuff that happens in your life. And those words never really seem to capture it. "Blessing", "Divine Appointment", "A God Thing" etc. All a little clunky.

The fact is that I do believe in chance and coincidence (not so much in luck) but there is really no better word for this stuff than "Serendipity." That way you can ascribe your good fortune to whoever you want... you don't have to be presumptuous to be poetic.

I have encountered a few instances of serendipity this week. On Monday, I finally got to meet Ibiyinka Alao, a wonderful guy who had been friends with Phillip & Amy Scoggins for awhile, but had yet to bump into me. Ibiyinka is the art ambassador from Nigeria, and travels all over the world making presentations about his art and his faith. Just 5 months ago he got married to a former art student of Amy's, and they have settled down in Springfield.

Turns out Ibiyinka and his wife, Jessica, are looking for a church to call home. When he saw the Front Porch he was very intrigued. And when I asked him, he agreed to give his presentation at this Sunday evening's Merge gathering. That's serendipity of a divine order.

So that night I was able to make up a flyer for Merge to take with us to Drury for their Student Activities Fair on Tuesday. For this opportunity I have to give props to Matt & Andrea Battaglia, a recent addition to The Core family, who both work at Drury. Anyway, Christina and I set up our display for their Fair, and immediately tons of Drury students were asking us about The Core and the Front Porch. Welcome to the 60 Drury students who are new to The Core! We're looking forward to seeing you around. Serendipity again.

Finally, Mik told me yesterday about how he was putzing around the Front Porch, trying to finish up a few things, and this guy named Zach walked in asking about becoming a bartender. Apparently there's a sign on Ernie Biggs' door saying "Bartenders Wanted, please use next door". What they meant was to please use the back door. But due to the miscommunication, Zach walked into the FroPo looking for a job. Although Mik didn't have one to offer him, the two of them did sit down and talk for about an hour and a half. Then Zack offered to help him move all the appliances into the now-finished coffee bar. I don't know if he ended up getting an interview at Ernie's, but we definitely expect to see him around from now on.

Don't get me wrong... I'm not crediting Serendipity for these things. I'm just saying that it's one of the ways God does things. There's comfort, there's testing, there's commanding, there's Serendipity.

It's important to recognize this, because whenever you try to do something really big, it's like discouragement is always hovering over your head. Consequently, when God intervenes with Serendipity, you pretty much have to get a tattoo so you don't forget about it by the time you're drowning again.

Oikosthemen

Last night I discovered that The Core website has been linked by a German-language emerging church blog called "oikosthemen" which means, as far as I can tell, in English, "OK". Makes sense. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that it takes Germans 11 letters to say what English-speakers can express in 2. :-)~

Anyway... thanks to oikosthemen for the props. I would link to their site, but I imagine most of the readers of this blog don't understand German anyway. Buy you're welcome to try. Or you can read it in broken English.

Death of a Salesman

"The only thing you got in this world is what you can sell."

I've been known to say it before, and more and more Christians are beginning to realize it. The concept of Evangelism has been deteriorating into pure salesmanship. The greatest news, the most perfect message humankind has ever heard, and it is relegated to little more than Girl Scout Cookies. And it doesn't even seem to be concerned about the here-and-now... only the afterlife. Do you know if you'll go to heaven when you die? Let's say a prayer and secure your place there right now, ok?

"After all the highways, and the trains, and the appointments, and the years, you end up worth more dead than alive."

Is a man or a woman merely a soul wrapped up in flesh? Are these bodies and brains simply tools to make sure the soul ends up in the right place? No... God created all of it to glorify him... to express, innovate, create, love, communicate, challenge, dance, rest, laugh. Can you 'love your neighbor' and only care about his or her soul?

"You can't eat the orange and throw the peel away--a man is not a piece of fruit!"

But the modern state of Evangelism is dangerously close to this kind of dichotomy. Ask them if they go to church anywhere. Tell them your testimony... they can't argue with that. Make sure they realize they're a sinner. Then ask them if there's any reason why they shouldn't pray for salvation right now. If that doesn't work, try just being their friend, and keep praying.

Is friendship a stratagem now? Is it the secret weapon in our evangelistic arsenal? To reduce relationship to a step in the three-step plan is to cheapen people... to deny their holistic value.

"I am not a dime a dozen! I am Willy Loman, and you are Biff Loman!"

If we don't come to our senses... if we don't change our course quickly, many of us are in danger of waking up and realizing that all the conversions under our belts have amounted to nothing.

"Nothing's planted. I don't have a thing in the ground."

Because we haven't loved. We have set our minds upon a task... a commission, but we have made the very mistake Paul warned us about in I Corinthians 13:

"If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."

Jesus commanded us to love everyone... and simply that. It is the highest form of human interaction, and the most complete way to be Christ-like. Everything we do, including (or especially) sharing the gospel, has to be governed by authentic love for people, not by strategies or sales pitches.

I am so passionate about this, I want everyone to have an opportunity to come together and help each other rid themselves of the proselytizing instinct... to let the salesman in each of us die a sudden death. I want us each to devote our lives to true relationship, to caring about people no matter what they believe, and ridding ourselves of the hidden agendas. The times we spend with people in this capacity will communicate the truth far better than any four spiritual laws.

"There's more of Willy in that front stoop than in all the sales he ever made."

In the fall, we're going to start getting together on a regular basis to work through the evangelistic misconceptions that have built up in each of us over time. We'll call these gatherings "Death of a Salesman", and we'll have them as often as necessary. If you have any interest in helping The Core build authentic community, or in providing hospitality at the Front Porch on a regular basis... I can't stress enough the importance of this gathering. Go ahead and e-mail me if you would like to take part.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind... and love your neighbor as yourself."

The Front Porch - Getting Closer!

Even though this picture was taken yesterday, it still doesn't capture everything... Some modest stage lighting, and pendant lighting above the future coffee bar, were added only hours ago. And the coffee bar is now finally in the works, and should be well on its way to completion by next weekend.

Make sure you stop by between 6 and 10 pm next Friday, August 3 to hang out at the pre-open Front Porch (310 South Avenue)... we'll have a lot more comfortable furniture in than you see here, plus musicians Annie Peters and Bailie, and local artist Deby Gilley displaying her linocut work.

See you there!

So Here I Am

I remember lying in bed at the age of 11, on the top bunk of the room my brother and I shared, in my family's little two-bedroom apartment. My dad was in his second year of seminary at the age of 39, having moved our family the year before from my birth-town of Bartlesville, Oklahoma, to nearby Tulsa.

I was lying there thinking about how my dad was about to become a pastor. Then I thought about how his dad was a pastor and evangelist, moving the family around Iowa and preaching in many churches before getting a divorce and taking up a career with the Corps of Engineers. Then I thought about how his dad was a pastor, immigrating from Sweden at the age of 16, and preaching in Swedish-language churches in the midwest.

Suddenly I felt a sense of destiny... no small thing for an 11 year-old. Preaching seemed to be a family business of sorts, and I was next in line. My dad didn't hear the call until middle age, but I'll be darned if I was going to wait that long. If I was going to be a pastor, I wanted in on the ground floor.

The thing of it is... I didn't want to be a pastor. Pastors, to me, were a certain special type of individual. They carried an air about them... a self-conscious-model-of-righteousness air... a sense that every word they said and everything they did was of monumental importance... as if failure was not an option. They seemed so... dignified. They loved making jokes, but didn't know how to be funny. They smiled a lot when they were around people, but never seemed to be truly enjoying themselves. There was just something wrong about pastors to me, and something wrong about the way people behaved in their presence.

Consequently, I did not embrace my "calling" wholeheartedly. I got embarrased at the way people would respond when I told them about it. I lived a life that was agreeable enough, but fell far short in terms of discipline and spiritual growth. Eventually I got so uncomfortable with the idea that I became convinced I had not heard from God at all. I decided I had simply looked at my family tree and jumped to conclusions.

This was the beginning of my foray into architecture. I found that I loved designing buildings and floorplans... so it seemed natural to play that field a bit. I put away thoughts of vocational ministry, and by the time I was 17 I was accepted into the School of Architecture at Kansas State University, and had secured a scholarship and a place to live.

The next part of my story could easily fill ten pages, so I'll abridge it for you. During my senior year in high school, I was learning how to play the guitar, and leading worship for my itty-bitty youth group that met in the leader's basement. Humble beginnings, to be sure. But as I grew in worship, and developed friendships with people who taught me how to forget myself before God, I felt my heart begin to turn. After graduating from high school, I found myself at a Promise Keeper's rally at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, among 65,000 men singing their hearts out to "A Mighty Fortress is our God." It was unbelievable.

I always say that God can speak to us anywhere. There is nothing magical about a church building, or a worship song, that God has designated to serve as a vehicle for his interactions with us. But for some reason my rare moments of absolute clarity from God tend to occur in those very settings. And yet, in those moments I also feel disconnected from them... as if I wasn't really there at all.

What I'm saying is, God spoke to me at Arrowhead Stadium. He said he wanted me to turn a corner in my life, and become a worship leader.

So I obeyed... I studied music and Bible, and took every opportunity to increase my experience and skill both musically and worshipfully.

By 2004, I had a bachelor's degree, and a wife who was ready to go with me wherever God pointed us, to lead people into his presence. But instead, in another church service, he told us to stay put and start The Core (read that story.)

So we struck out on the path God gave us, and soon made friends with Matt & Melissa Stephens, who had a similar vision. We decided that Matt would be the pastor of The Core. I, then, could lead the worship (among other things,) thus fulfilling the call I'd heard in Kansas City.

But now Matt and Melissa are gone. They moved to Chicago so Matt could attend seminary. I like to say that, when I backed out of my calling to be a pastor, God very gradually "backed" me back in. It's almost as if he tricked me.

So here I am. Pastor of The Core. I want you to know that I'm still not sure what to do with that. I'm not a preacher. I'm not remarkably funny or popular. I have trouble with names. I talk too much, and I stick my foot in my mouth with startling regularity. I'm a mediocre listener at best. I have very few Bible verses formally memorized, and my daily devotionals are a bit spotty. I'm a people-pleaser, and have difficulty speaking up with the hard truths. But that doesn't stop me from being controversial or argumentative. I'm prideful. I tend to think I'm the smartest man in the room. I'm also absent-minded. I am simultaneously a reckless optimist and a worry-wart. I have NO experience. I fashion myself a worship leader, but my voice is unremarkable and my guitar and piano skills are painfully basic.

There you have it, the Pastor of The Core.... let me know if I left anything out.

______________________

So we've established now that I'm not on anybody's short list to plant a church. And yet, it seems that God doesn't care about our short lists. He consistently taps the rejects. It's as if he were the captain of a pick-up basketball team, and he picks all the short heavy kids, just to prove that he can beat the other team all by himself. But then he manages to win the game as a team, just to prove he's not a ball-hog.

Having accepted the fact that God has indeed chosen me to do this thing, I have had to struggle to understand my identity in all this. When I was 11, I knew I didn't want to be a shiny-veneer-type pastor, and I don't think God wanted me to, either. That's why I'm pastor of The Core, and not Third Methodist, or something. And yet, I find myself always observing all these other pastors to see where I'm falling short.

Lately the guy I've had my eye on is named Mark Driscoll, the founding pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle. This guy is hard-core. His sermons are sarcastic, funny, hard-hitting oratories that last upwards of 60 minutes. And people listen, dad-blast it. In Seattle!

Just so you know, I have no interest in modeling myself after Driscoll. He is a borderline chauvinist. He has a dirty mouth. He has to be so damn certain about everything he says. He's a virtual monolith. Mars Hill has multiple locations, but each one of them has to hear him preach every Sunday. Consequently, he runs himself into the ground, endangering his health over and over.

Nevertheless, I wondered if I was falling short by not "proclaiming" the way he does. By not stomping my foot, and saying "This is sick, and it's got to stop!" The fact is, I just don't do that. So who's wrong? Him or me?

Maybe neither of us. Driscoll has a death wish to transform the city of Seattle. Where the darkness falls like a heavy curtain, drastic measures are all we have. The fact is that almost nobody in Seattle is standing up and spewing light with passion and conviction. So when somebody finally does, it's like that first gasp of air for the man who nearly drowned. Some people will smear you all over the media, but others will flock to you for healing. And that's exactly what's happened in Mark Driscoll's case.

I have come to the conclusion that Springfield, in for the most part, is just as lost as Seattle... but in the exact opposite way. We have light here, but it's not natural light. It's not the real stuff that streams through your eastern window at the crack of dawn. It's been replaced with those flourescent bulbs that buzz constantly, and make everybody look 15 years older.... the ones that sap your energy by 11 am and turn yellow after a few months.

Will somebody please stand up and say that the Bible is the Word of God??? Sure... in Springfield there's thousands of them. Will somebody put their foot down regarding moral relativism? We've got that. Will someone please tell these young boys to quit moving in with their girlfriends? Those preachers are everywhere.

So what does Springfield lack? What kind of pastor does God want me to be? Honestly, I don't know for sure. But so far I have concluded that this city does not need another monolith, another gospel broadcaster, another... preacher. I am thankful that we have the ones we do have, make no mistake. I want to work with them, to receive their encouragement and accountability. I want to spur them on to a ministry that emits natural light, and tosses the flourescent bulbs in the dumpster (with that cool gun-shot bang.) And I will speak the truth right alongside them, albeit in a less proclamatory fashion.

But I believe God is calling me to fill the gaps they leave behind... to reach the people that have fallen through the cracks... to live out among them, relationally, what they have so far only heard from a distance, and to avoid the kind of communication that has convinced them that there is no real love amongst the followers of Christ.

I suppose I have had my fair share of detractors so far. Some are only interested in knocking me down. Others have criticized me out of a genuine desire to lift me up. Both groups have been partly right, and partly wrong, and I am honestly thankful for everything they've said. If you have been among them, please know that I love you, and I am as eager to see me become God's man as you are. Don't lose your cool, but don't lose your edge, either. I need it. I cannot do this by myself.